Saturday, June 21, 2008

Kinda Cool!

We had a visit from Jeanne Shaheen who is campaigning for the Senate. She stopped in to our shoppe and talked with Alyssa and Patti as well as visiting other local businesses. Kinda cool!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=-dDny7XtK1I

675 comments:

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Anonymous said...

O Come on Alyssa, you could of least said something or even smiled for the camera!!

Apotheca Flower Shoppe said...

The camera's were scary- : )

Anonymous said...

Camera's are scary!! What you have created with your gift is incredible - the power of an outlet - just think, all of this inspiration from one little ole corn field, the hope of a VW and the color blue.. Seems like you have picked up a few other treasures along the way..

alcor said...

Noah and Brynne--my greatest little treasures. OK, who in the heck is this???

alcor said...

BTW-thank you for your kind words voice from the past...who is this?

Anonymous said...

I think identities can often be completely over-rated, a creativity hindrance! I mean I don't really even know who "Alcor" is and who can be an "Apotheca Flower Shoppe"? You did respond to Alyssa though, so I can only assume. What is a commissioned "Alyssa" original going for now-a-days anyway?? I have a piece from your Rusted Butterfly Collection - I am very proud of what you have accomplished! Not Surprising..

Apotheca Flower Shoppe said...

Identities/Labels/Boxes are unnecessary and annoying...I agree.

Hmmm, subtle mockery and thick sarcasm gently interwoven with wit and, yes, kindness..this does feel familiar. But one can't be sure...

Rusted Butterfly from the Fly Free Edition was a Solo Run. It is extremely rare and therefore quite valuable--depending on who you ask, of course.

Thank you : ) ......

alcor said...

OK, I have been patient...how are you doing? How is life? Mountains? Music? How's the fam?

Anonymous said...

Do you really want me to answer all of that on your blog - it could take a sentence or two?? (Eleven Years!!!) I must comment though on your interesting/humorous (it made me laugh) look at patience - it sounded a bit more like you had become sick of being patient - a little conflicting, sorry. How did you know that I live in the mountains? What else do you know? Not Presumptuous / Just Curious... Life has been life (could I be anymore vague) but it has also been good. How have you been? Thirty? Kiddos!! Entrepreneur!!! Tell me you still play in the mud from time to time...

Anonymous said...

Will Do!!! Thanks for entering back into this world, you have strengthened a friend...

alcor said...

: ) I am glad.

Say hi to Abe the Babe for me.

Apotheca Flower Shoppe said...

Oh crap, I just re-read my post...the beautiful thing is the gift of affirmation you gave me, not my life, that sounded so vain.

Yes, I know, I think way too much and overanalyze to death the things that don't make sense in the first place--my brain is a scary place.

Oh, well.
: )
later brillo.

Anonymous said...

Good to know your initial reactionary nature (that you can’t really take back, only attempt to address in the future) is True Vanity – might want to work on that – Bad for Business.

So I am going to take the "brillo" thing as you speaking in Spanish or something - so what you were really saying is that I am a "shine" or one who "shines" right?? That's what you meant right??

alcor said...

uBda Vain one fu!
(my other language)

It's ok though, all musicians need a little Vanity flowing through veins--necessary for survival I think.

As far as brillo- I have always loved equivocal-isms.

Anonymous said...

Smart Ass!!

Pathetic thing (I must give you too much credit) I checked like three languages on Freetranslation.com before I got what you wrote - told ya I was white!!

alcor said...

haha! Thank you, I needed a belly laugh! : )

alcor said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Awfully demanding aren’t we?? What would you like me to say?

Anonymous said...

So here's a question, me saying something if you will.. Why did you really start bawling when the lady with the "amber eyes" spoke those words to you??

alcor said...

Hmmmm,

I guess because I felt like I was failing miserably in my attempt to hold all of these things together--Noah still had strep, Brynne had a yeast infection from trying to wipe herself, Pauline wanted to keep talking but I finally had to go because I knew I wasn't really ready for the inspector and should have been, we had three weddings that I felt ill-prepared for, we had been closed for three weeks and I was getting a little freaked;

and then these women showed up out of the blue--I wanted to connect with them, understand what they needed, but I felt so distracted and not "present" enough to give what I wanted to; and this stranger from another world entirely met me on an unseen plane and saw my heart--she saw that even though I was failing--I cared, and I was trying;

and the fact that she saw something good when I felt so insufficient was just really encouraging.

So I bawled.

Because I'm a girl and I do that sometimes when I am tired, emotional, PMSing, pissed off, or just plain feel like it. : ) Really, I don't very often, but I was due.

Do you know that when I finally made it to a U2 concert there was a kid there next to me with a Windom, MN t-shirt on and it ruined the whole thing?! : ) (it didn't really RUIN it, but you know...) Eventually I had to ask him if he knew you. He said no. But after talking for a bit, he did know your x-girlfriend from the next town?...I can't remember her name now or the town..or the details, but still it was way odd. Bono was very short-- and amazing. Now he's saving the world.

Anonymous said...

You should of punched the kid from windom in the face - he was probably a punk!!! Speaking of "Do you know's" To this day I hate the town of Vail and every time I drive through I feel the urge to vomit..

Did you get your CO??

Anonymous said...

BTW – your new place looks incredible (you could use a little wood picture rail though, to accent the 12’ ceilings and it would better fit the era – guess you can’t expect everything from a past cornfield dweller) the pics are awesome!! Seems like you have just worked your lil ole butt off to get that town and your staff wrapped around your finger – the articles and statements, you’re like a queen – I am sure the fact that they adore you and love your work has nothing to do with the kind of person you are and the way you serve them.

Just a glancing observation.
Where’s the picture rail????

alcor said...

Oh no...should I take that personally??? There are a million questions I'd love to ask....

As far as picture rail, is that the same thing as Crown Molding, because if it is I TOTALLY want to do that, but it was so expensive??! If that is not it, tell me more; maybe it's cheaper and I can still do it--or if it is it maybe you can recommend a cheaper route?

As far as articles--UGH, that means you saw the terrible picture of Brynne and I taken on my "I can't handle my life" day. OK fine, so I am vain. But it has been 11 years and a decent picture of your old friend would have been nice.
I'm glad you like the shop! Thank you. My town rocks and the girls that work with me are IN-credible. I am so blessed.

Anonymous said...

Actually "picture" rail (everybody has crown molding, the cool kids have picture rail)was big around the turn of the century and was used to hang "pictures" (surprising) without having to bash nail holes through plaster walls. It usually sits about 10" - 12" from the ceiling, you can get it cheap at "Crap Depot" and use old gloppy paint (the more chips and chunks the better) to match your sweet wainscot. (the true purists would hang hooks to hold the pics but I prefer the old angled nail approach) I kinda have a thing for old stuff or new shiny stuff that I get to trash to make look old... Here is a blog that may help...

http://tinybungalow.blogspot.com/2008/01/picture-rail.html

So have you managed to maintain your "no regrets" policy for life thus far?? Can one ask questions like that??

alcor said...

Hmmm, very cool. (I love that blog, thanks!) So, is the picture rail a regional thing do you think or is it something that appeared here in New England too? The Depot was built in 1890 I think...Would you put it down lower than the 12 inches b/c the ceilings are high?

My whole thing is wanting to honor the history of the building and at the same time bring in the contemporary POP of 'this isn't Granma's Flower Shoppe' (even though lots of Granmother's love the shop and are my favorite customers, but you know what I mean..)...what allows the POP to be respected is the juxtaposition of that with the history--and good design. Straight up contemporary has no soul. (my opinion)

No regrets? Wow. Such a fabulous goal wasn't it--That is not a question that can be answered simply. I do have regrets, unfortunately--I think--BUT, I will say that I can appreciate where I am and the things I have learned and the gifts I have been given along each path.



However, I have adopted the "fly free" method of living in every area I possibly can--especially pertaining to parenting. All too often peeps use children to become an excuse for sitting at home and watching a succession of favorite TV shows; or they slip into "perfect suburbia parenting" mode rather than really living with dirt under your fingernails--flying free with your kids by your side.

I don't know if you remember that conversation or not, but it has continued to inspired me--the principle had to have a different application, but I share it often (I even have a painting titled "fly free" that won "best in show" it was supposed to go on to a national competition, but I never sent it in--it's a big painting and shipping would have been ridiculous. It's a mother on a swing-- high above a bungalow of all things--with her two kids on her lap **obviously Brynne and Noah and I** Completely unsafe and unrealistic, but it looks wicked fun. : )

It's painted on an old tablecloth over a panel with other 3-d fabric and antique elements. (I love junk--things with an innate history) And I attribute it to a conversation had with a friend on a little bridge at CC, a long time ago. You totally get credit for it dude, so even if you don't remember--pretend you do. : )

Anonymous said...

Quick Clarification: When I stated "crap depot" I was referencing "home depot" not your depot... I didn't want to come across like I was calling your place crap...

I remember - thanks,

Anonymous said...

As far as picture rail goes – I believe it was barfed out of the Victorian Age (unfortunately) and spread throughout the country anywhere you have this influence, which is basically everywhere I guess – You also see it a ton within the Craftsmen movement and then we lose in the late thirties thanks to the wonderful widespread “Ranch” era.. You would find this all over in Charleston – which I guess isn’t really New England – why are you fighting this??? Don’t you like paint “PICTURES”.

alcor said...

My brother Ben calls it the same thing--I knew what you meant.

Fine, I'll do the picture rail...

alcor said...

regrets?

alcor said...

Or maybe that was just me that was going to live with no regrets....can't remember for sure.

alcor said...

so, I have to paint it--I can't leave it wood colored. would I paint it china white to go with the ceiling or would I keep it "rushing river"--the wall color. I painted all of the window trim the same color as the walls....thoughts?

Sorry to blab so much. I'll take your lead and work on shorter more concise answers. Maybe.

Anonymous said...

Regrets?? Thousands and yet none!! (sometimes it’s just fun to say stuff like that – there is truth to that though (maybe your buddy Nietzsche can shed some light) While I did buy into the “no regrets / carpe diem” ideology (what a combination – someone should call Disney – that’s not a dig –just hard to live by)

My fears do not lie solely with regret, rather the possible combination of regret and attrition – that’s when things get ugly and dark for this ole lover of picture rail.. My season of regret is always the first week of summer – blind sides me every year... Don’t ask me why, it’s been that way since I was a kid – could be something about the shuffling of lives and people, the wind is the driest over the prairies, cross roads for so many or could it be the painful, often unacknowledged (but necessary) side of the “fly free” curriculum?? I have to be concise or I write a book / books are for a “different day / another twenty years”…

Finishes: To be completely honest colors aren’t really my bag (my fashion sense would never lend anyone to believe this, I know – that was a joke) I like white paint, vanilla ice cream and snow (this has nothing to do with my racial perspective) – I am a bit of a minimalist/simplest (is that a word??) (my momma says “being simplest means I been touched in the head by Jesus” my momma also says “I have a strong nose” to kindly mean it is large, hmmm.
I will always be more comfortable bouncing down the road in my old landcruiser – A/C, cruise control and drip free driveways are for bikini brief wearing sissy men.

Back to your picture rail – since you went ahead and painted the windows the color of the walls (nice!!) you may want to leave it Natural Wood – you’re in the north you probably have a lot of oak or maple – you could match that but aren’t your floors stained or painted dark?? That could be cool - Hmmm – The wood option would mean you can’t use the cheap “home depot” crap, your front door is a killer color, but so is the wainscot, a white to match the ceiling would look awesome in your artwork display room. I don’t know, it’s your sweet place – don’t let my opinion taint a beautiful thing..

Second song I wrote upon my arrival to Belmont (Nashville) was titled “Break Away” may have possibly had some fly free undertones, a sunset or two and the fearless pride of returning home someday – didn’t win an award but I performed it a few years later at an important showcase – it has remained on my “A” list.
Did you ever get a VW??

Anonymous said...

Correction - I meant you may have oak or maple floors and you could match them - the dark could look cool!!

alcor said...

nothing' wrong with books..
: )

Apotheca Flower Shoppe said...

Uh, oh. Here comes the book. I tried, I really did.

...and come on, I am sure you totally have those bikini briefs hiding in the back of your underwear drawer...

regret and attrition -- You call Disney and I will call Jane Austin. (great word by the way)

Your description of the first week of summer was beautiful-

(--I could see little J. Glenn at 10 on a lonely road, dead cow wafting in the air and a stray Texas tumble weed that miraculously made its way north taunting him; there he sits, propped on his bike wondering where all of his friends went. Please God let summer end.)

I think the fabulously conciliatory thing about the C'D and FF 'curriculum" is the infinite number of applications! So even if something is missed and regret threatens to bunk with attrition, there's always an opportunity to make a choice to "go for it". The "it" changes but becomes transferrable to any new situation on any given day. Put down the dirty dish and go build a fort in the back yard. Let go of the security blanket and jump into the "oh crap what if it doesn't work". Stop and look up, or down, or into something rather than stomping on it--Take the plunge and push yourself. Go for a walk, go camping, poo in the woods. I think the philosophies are all about learning from past "wish I woulda's" to give one strength to have fewer in the future.

So, I am sorry--I have more questions about the picture rail--let's say we were to do it in the gallery area---do we hang it low enough to actually function as something that one would hang pictures from, or do I put it the 10-12" from the ceiling--making it more of an architectural accent? I just want to make sure I get this "I'm cooler than crown molding" thing right....BTW, everybody needs a little color. Just stick to blue, it looks good with white.

Ya know, I pinned it down (reading one of the old journals--we had a lot of fun by the way, it was hilarious to read!!! Why were we so mean to each other??? I guess that was part of what made it hilarious), and it's all you... We totally could have been friends the past 10 years if you only would have listened to me and NOT had THAT conversation on the way home from CO. I told you what was going to happen!!! : ) But again, thousands yet none, CD, FF--it all works. I did read how you found a tampon in my pillow and stuck it onto the car antenna; and when we got back to your house and showed your mom she said, "Oh look, my cars on the rag!" She was always a great mix of silly and sweet.

I did finally get my VW. I was supposed to drive away in it after Matt and I got married. It wouldn't start though. I LOVED it. She had green sanded off paint and would randomly decide to stall--I admired her stubborn nature. She had a cool engine so I was able to go 90--(sounded like it was going to fall apart though) Later I had an old convertible VW, but I had to leave her in TX when we moved to NH. Recently I drove an old bmw 2002--it had the old vw smell, but wasn't the same thing. I sold her in prep for apotheca expansion.

Glad to hear to you still have wheels with soul--minus the corduroy.

I see it --dark on the rail could be cool in the depot. White might say, "I wish I were crown molding" brown might say "in your face CM, I am so the wall--and nothing about me is walking the fence." I like it! : )

alcor said...

So, can I hear your music anywhere? Web?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Apotheca Flower Shoppe said...

mmmm, Katie. She's a fast mover.

Apotheca Flower Shoppe said...

p.s. I own conciliatory--however, I did have to look up attrition in an attempt to figure out what in the heck you were talking about. Like I said, good word. : )

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I don’t have any music on the web (not quite that big time) I am hoping to record some new stuff here in the near future – I will send you a link if it comes together…

I had to look up “conciliatory” AND “attrition” so I guess you win..

Anonymous said...

You totally check this every five minutes (freak!!!)

alcor said...

I get an e-mail when there is a new post and I working from home on the computer today (yes, I am a freak, I'm fine with it though) : )

It'll come together if you want it to. So get on it. I wanna hear and I'm sure lots of others do too.

Apotheca Flower Shoppe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
alcor said...

it was NOT billy mcmillin-y.

Anonymous said...

huh?

alcor said...

the letter, it was not billymcmillan-y.

Anonymous said...

Maybe a little Billy McMilliny! (that would be a great children's book title)

If not Billy than his portly red cheeked black brillo headed friend (now that kid was a brillo head) what was his name? (Sherman or Walter) You know what’s amazing about the mind and the soul? (you’re suppose to say “what, brillo Freak!” thanks) With the mind it seems you can pick and choose or not actually pick and choose, it seems to do that sometimes for you, anyway pick and choose what you remember and what you let go – for instance I can remember Billy and his red cheeked side kick like it was yesterday, pick them out of a Treckie crowd a million deep – I remember the mud pit outside of Oklahoma City with you, Joel and Karla but simple shit here at the office and in the field, it just bounces off and just keeps moving.

I am managing a nine million dollar Judicial Center project right now, (i'd rather be building an old farm table - I am learning a lot though) sitting in a meeting today (we are turning it over in three weeks) with my boss, the architect, owner’s rep and his wife (I am suppose to be LEADING this meeting) and I am gone, total different world – thankfully my boss is as scattered brained as me, he chuckles when he see’s my stare, we get along great. !!My Point!! the mind can let it go, but the soul – aint no chance.

So this letter (old Billy McMillanish Letter), I have crammed, stuffed, smashed it, totally forgotten for a period, pounded into the smallest piece of oblivion to be thrown into every possible hemisphere (I guess there are only a couple – oops) even convinced myself that Billy wrote it but when something is mixed with soul it won’t let you get rid of it. (this is good and bad) I was thinking about this reality/concept as I meandered down this gravel road up in the hills Sunday and then you totally used my balling up illustration in your blog – intellectual property is legally recorded upon conception, so therefore I will take ownership of the balling up theory. Did I arrive at a point??Those are my thoughts, you have gotta love soul as aggravating as it may be at times.

Anonymous said...

What's a "fast mover" mean??

alcor said...

She has asked me what's going on in my life a couple of times--I have ignored it. I finally gave her a little mini-lo-down so I figured she had passed it onto you? Of course I could be wrong--I don't think I am wrong. Maybe she told you about the burning nearly 10 years ago? I didn't think I had told her--maybe I did.

Thus the "fast mover" (it being my "lo-down" was just a few days ago)

Your job sounds interesting! I have no doubts you'll forge your way through with flying colors and the end result with be fantastic--daydreaming included. Make sure you celebrate by signing your name somewhere discreet after smearing something goopy on your head.

Soul is a bitch. (--I don't usually swear out there in the 'real' world. I swear in my head and in my writing --sometimes it fits-it may also fit when it moves just barely beyond the edge of my lips...under my breath (like when I'm driving) when it's spoken in a clearly audible manner it feels forced/foreign. Unless I am REALLY mad. Then it totally fits once again. Funny thing those naughty words....)

But yes, you are right. One does gotta love it--The best things in life are effortlessly and seamlessly blended with it. Still's a bitch.

So, I terrified YOU and the the NonBillyMcMilliny...

(totally right on the children's book---Sherman does make a fantabulous side-kick, I can see the plot unfolding now... (*uh,oh parenthesis within parenthesis again*I also read that I bought you a daisy rather than a rose and Billy wore the same thing to the banquet--I had forgotten about that! You two should have had your picture taken together)

...gathering of thoughts terrified me. Why in the heck you didn't send that letter like 6 months sooner? or even weeks? Or maybe said something/ANYthing in Vail...or at any point in between? of course I wonder why I did/didn't do a lot of things too. I was terrified of myself--mad at myself for being so hurt, pissed for letting myself "go there" wherever that was. So, like I said, I hid under a rock while in a barrel where it felt safe and warm.

Why did you want to shove into a newly discovered 3rd hemisphere?

Wow, I really need some sleep. Perhaps I should save this, reread it in the morning and then determine whether or not to post it....

Sorry, I should be speaking in a more sideways obscure manner (that is my favorite language), but I only got three hours of sleep last night (Wednesday mornings I get up at 4 a.m. to get flowers--trust me, that's the ONLY day of the week the coffee's on that early!--I do like the morning as long as I don't have to talk to anyone. I admire and am inspired by the sunrise, but the moon still seems to be a closer friend) so my inhibitions aren't as sharp as they should be. Plus, adding to my beat-ed-ness, it was a really busy day (thank you God) at the shop. Every time someone walks in the bloody door I feel blest. This morning someone was actually hanging out on his lap top! So cool, he's been in nearly every day, sometimes with his family, sometimes alone.

I am not saying that things aren't exactly as they should be. I'm not turning my back on no regrets. I'm just wondering why? Can I ask that? Of course I can. I can ask whatever the heck I want. I think. I'd really rather not wait another 10 years to ask. So I say, another day is today! Of course you don't have to answer but I'd call you brillo head like 10 times (NOT in spanish) in a row and then I'd make fun of your hidden multi-colored briefs.


I will share the intellectual property with you 50/50. That's my first and final offer. : )

Ok, I'll re-read it and make sure....Oh whatever. Ok, one more time...Alright.

Apotheca Flower Shoppe said...

no...edifystudios@mac.com

Anonymous said...

does it bring you joy to delete all of my posts?? Power trip??

Apotheca Flower Shoppe said...

tee-hee...I deleted some of mine, too - get over it! :)

Anonymous said...

You so totally grew up in a cornfield - I can't believe you googled Astroglide!!!!!!!!!! At least you didn't ask your mom.

alcor said...

(is this better) I can put them all back if you want : )

Yes, I did grow up in a cornfield. I'm fine with it! My mom might not know what it is either...

Anonymous said...

You can feel free to re-delete them if you need to, I didn't mean to pursuade you. Why are you so touchy about the cornfield?? I basically grew up in a cornfield and did cornfield work stuff - I don't have a complex.

Sometimes the fact that someone keeps saying that they are "Fine" or "ok" with something kinda comes across like one is not so ok. For instance - the unibrow and the stache - you snap back that it's not such a big deal but I am not so convinced... hmmm?

alcor said...

J. Glenn, you have to know I'm joking.

There is nothing in my early life I value more than my Alaskan outhouse, my Minnesota cornfield, and my Brothers.

I have been given a perspective on life that I cherish. Perhaps I would be the same person if I had grown up in the biggest house on Long Island such as one of my best customers, ....She is wonderful, but I see her struggle with critical expectations that I 'm sure she has had to contend with most of her life. (I pray she doesn't read this.) Would I be strong enough to break free from that or would I be swallowed up?

Thanks to my family and my upbringing, I'll never know.

My outhouse, my galvanized bathtub, my sunset that painted the corn, my mud bath of a driveway--a playground every spring---my crazy brothers, I was surrounded by substance and true beauty.

Not that my childhood doesn't bear it's wounds, but all in all, my life was frickin' awesome; and I embrace it.

When I am in a fancy hotel and the event coordinator has something large and ugly up her skirt, My Cornfield is what enables me to be genuinely kind to her despite herself. There's nothing that warms me more than breaking through someone else's glass house and getting to where "naked souls share thoughts". Even if it's just about the weather.

As far as '
stach and uni? I do wish my blond mother had enlightened me at 13 concerning the plight of most brunettes rather than saying, "what honey, I don't see anything"-- then maybe I wouldn't have thought that God meant to make me a boy and had made a terrible mistake!.... And yes, it is odd that I have hairless arms yet could grow a mustache that you could only dream of; but I am OK with that now. (really..."OK") Sally Hansen is a genius of a woman and can now be found at Target and most reputable retailers nationwide....However,

I want a boob job regardless of the fact that it doesn't line up with my granola girl living; and if there was a cure for cellulite, I'd be all over it...I like clothes AND dirt in my fingernails. I don't care if it doesn't make sense. Granted my favorite outfits consist of a wife-beater and flipflops; but Arden B jeans come in longs and they are $100 a pair!!!! But they FIT, they don't stretch out even after a week of wearing them (hey, I'm busy) and damnit I'm worth it!!! (yes, I still feel guilty).

We took Dad out to Olive Garden. Everyone at the shop has adopted him as their 2nd dad--just like my friends did growing up. I don't know what I'll do when he's not around any more. He's going crazy now that the shop is nearing completion. He wants to keep working. I keep assuring him that the "daddy-do" list is infinite : )

How's your project turnaround coming along?

alcor said...

p.s. I'm not the one that deleted the posts...

Anonymous said...

I was just sending this when you sent yours - the project is good, had a six hour punchlist session today with the owners, sent it out and now heading home...

As for the third hemisphere (this book may come out in a few chapters) I guess I leaned to the same reaction I would give upon shoving a piece of tree under my finger nail “PAIN” and I wanted to get rid of it. I had to employ the CD methodology (I had a great teacher - I need to quit blaming people) I laid out my heart and soul (selfishly – I apologize for putting you in that position – I got scolded by Katie after she found out that I wrote and sent the letter – I think Abe scolded me to – he knew what an ass I had been over the past year and a half – Abe is not ultra confrontational but he was always willing to fight for you) to a woman that was about to be married (after I saw you, I guess the last time I saw you, at that youth thing in the cities I lost it – it was completely wrong) I must have been home for a break. So my mom understood my disgruntled broken hearted fury and said “write it all out, you idiot, send it if you need to and Alyssa will follow her heart”, my mom always had more faith in your judgment and patience than she did mine. So I sent the letter, shortly after received my confirmation that your “memories were good” along with the butterfly – didn’t know a piece of rusted tin could scream so many words.. I went into hiding (as all brave soldiers do – I had lost my battle). It was clear I needed to let you go – thus throwing the letter into the third hemisphere. It wasn’t like I was going to save a carbon copy just in case I needed to re-read it to you over your honeymoon or something.
Check this out - Interesting story, that actually oddly enough brought some solace : Early that summer / late that spring can’t completely put a date in place – I returned from a, singing on the road, thing and was staying by myself on campus for a few weeks before jumping into a youth internship with this church I worked for in Nashville. I had done a pretty good job for the past three / four months of shutting the noise of you out of my brain. I went to bed on a Friday night to then un-expectantly dream (for what seemed like days) the most vivid dream, re-counting, I think, almost every memory I had with you – mud, streams, fires, Jerry McGuire, bridges, shimmery dresses, cobalt blue – the whole bit. I woke up that Saturday around noon (to date, unless I was hanging out with you until all hours of the night, I have slept past 6am like ten times) I woke soaked in sweat and tears completely mind boggled and frustrated – that was a bad day!! I found out a month and a half later (by our friend Katie) that was the day you were married. My point and my pleasure: (I had to process and make sense of all of it) I knew (I already knew this) that I had been completely blessed and bettered as a person – by merely having the opportunity to know and be inspired by you and who you are, I knew there would always be a connection that was bigger than me, regardless of the decisions I made.. Same reason (after ten years) I wasn’t at all surprised to see what you are doing, the two beautiful children you have, the beauty and art you have created and to learn of the lives that you daily better. I actually just sat back in my chair and laughed – kinda like good, awesome, of course!!
As to Why!! When I am trusting the Lord and not giving Him the finger, I have to know that His leading and His direction is correct – He is in control and His plans, will and ways are way the hell higher than ours. I don’t get it but as you stated earlier I am not about to put a God, that for some ridiculous reason puts up with a little “&$#*@” like me in some sort of Jeremy box. (some day when you really have nothing to do I will have to tell you about my three year stint as a youth pastor in an Episcopal church – it was quite the ride – it ended with me asking the Priest if he wanted to join me in the parking lot so that I could instruct him in the ways of being respectful with a woman (that woman being my wife, which he and his wife along with several of the other cronies tried to destroy) I think you would have been proud.

Again as to why - I don’t know but I am grateful and man I would love to sit down and have a Phat conversation with you over a sweet cup of coffee, another day or fifty years…

alcor said...

Oh my gosh. Please don't apologize for sending it. It was a gift. You followed CD and you sent it and I am glad (I'm proud). I wish I had been in a stronger place, I wish I had understood more about where I was and why.

I need to process. Right now I could throw up.

BUT God is big. I am SO glad. He's big.
I want to hug your Mom, I want to hug Abe.
ugh.

I have no doubts I would have been proud of you in the parking lot. I'd love to hear sometime. You probably should have pulverized him, but I am having a flash back to the way you handled Jamie when I know you wanted to kill him for the sake of protecting you sister. I know I would have been proud.

Ugh. I think I need to throw up.

I'm glad to know of the why, but it hurts to hear it--even after all this time I think I could cry. Maybe I'm PMSing.

Thank you for telling me. I wish I had known so much more than I did. I wish I could have been strong enough to follow my heart, but I wasn't--I tried to squash it instead. Like I said, in one of our first posts-- The pieces are always there, but knowing how to see them and put them together is anther story. I'm never gonna fall asleep tonight.

I had a terrible night that night too, unfortunately.

Did you ever find that note I left in a book at your mom's house? I think I wrote it directly on the page... (oops, tell your mom I'm sorry to ruin the book, I was behaving impulsively!) I can't remember what book. It was on that last day. It just said, "I still believe in you." I do ya know. You are incredible. Don't forget it.

Erin is a lucky woman Jeremy, and I am so happy that you risked and went for it. I wish so much happiness for you both that you frickin' explode!!!

and I am happy to have a window into your life again. A different form, a different shape entirely; but I am glad just the same.

God is huge. I need a God that's huge. We all do. Everyone is a disaster and I don't know how anyone does it without him. Navigating this life can be so crazy. I look into my children's eyes and everything that matters becomes crystal clear.



I'm grateful too.
Here's to another day, another 50 years.

I know, I'll meet you at Prince Edward Island some day (that's where I'm going when I lose my mind) We can play in the mud for an afternoon.

alcor said...

I'm not sure what a punchlist is, but 6 hours of any kind of list sounds exhausting...what is it?

alcor said...

So why were you a jerk for a year and a half? Why didn't you say anything in Vail?

Again, all is as it should be. I am not turning my back on no regrets (maybe, I'm not sure, we'll see how I feel tomorrow : )) I just need to ask.

Ok, I will sleep, I am fine. I'm just asking.

p.s. I'd really like to throw something at you, but it won't reach WintergranbyfraserPark. Please give Abe a hug for defending me, I love him even more than I did. (Jeremy, you've got to find that guy a wife!)

Ok, I am letting it go.
Done. Just make sure you answer my questions. Please.

G'night

Anonymous said...

A punch list is where you walk thirty thousand square feet of building with blue tape, owners, architects, pencil pushers, punk bean counters and contractors and make a list of every paint, drywall, trim etc... thing that is wrong - tons of fun!! I have the sweet job of puting the list together and telling all of the subs to make it happen - hurding cats yeehaa. I have exploded by the way - what you throw might make it to denver but I live on the other side of the mountain. The sunrise was incredible this morning - you should spend more time making friend with the morning, the moon has all of those stars to hang with - he doesn't need your howling!!

alcor said...

I see it on Wednesdays--maybe a few other times here and there.

Yikes, a punchlist sounds as scary as bridal preview day or commission painting delivery day.

I am glad! I thought I saw fuzzy particles floating in the atmosphere a while back : )

Anonymous said...

So questions: Did you end up barfing? Did you fall asleep or were you just being a dramatic (I am the spoiled queen of Goffstown) girl? Why did you have a terrible night that night? What were you thinking in Vail when I suggested that we get coffee (maybe you suggested, can't remember)but then you decided you needed to leave? Just so you know (because I can totally picture you throwing something) if you did throw something, first of all it would probably be a girly, bald arm, wanna be guy throw and secondly I would probably just catch it and piss you off more - I'm quick like that.

Anonymous said...

who deleted the posts??

alcor said...

I did not end up barfing, although I did feel like it.

As far as drama? I was just being honest--dramatic may fall in line with honesty in this instance, but I will NEVER be as dramatic as our sweet Katie.

I slept as soon as I started counting heat lightning bursts.

Did I really say I had to go? What an idiot. All I can say is I was so hurt by you (jerk) that my biggest fear was being exposed enough to be hurt again. I had to protect Alyssa at all costs. In my narrow-minded youth, ( I am oh so wise now ; )) I believed protecting my heart was the key.

I remember Nicole stating in her assuredly certain manner that if we made it through the summer we'd be together forever; and if we didn't we were done. That summer was so loaded two "just friends" like us didn't stand a chance : )

My Mom deleted the posts--the nosy little thing. In her words, they were too "painfully personal." Your mom would have read them too I am sure.

After she found them she said, "Oh Alyssa, what if he was the one? You have never been so hurt as I remember you being then." I was like, thanks, Mom. : ) Even Mom's sometimes forget that God is Bigger than stupid little &^%$# like us : )

And, Yes, I continue to be nursed with a terrible chic throw--I can still feel your dad's lack of approval on that camping trip--Nicole rocked, what can I say....but if I could will it over the mountain, it would hit you square on the head.

Anonymous said...

I have been meaning to ask - who picks the music for you site?? Feist ROCKS!!! Totally been in my top five for the past year... "My Moon My Man"

alcor said...

I love Fiest too--also Regina Spektor (she gets the voices in my head) Blue October can be a little dark but they rock as well. Yael Naim, she's good too. Last night I was in the shop alone for the first time. I had the music BLARing. Sort of reclaiming my space.

The tunes contribute a lot to ambience (obviously). The girl's know I have "a thing" about it. That's when I am called a control freak. Really, I am pretty easy.

Ok, you win the mustache contest. I thought you'd be bald by now....

Anonymous said...

Me too! I actually kinda wish I was, hair is a source of vanity (even if a brillo) I have shaved my head a few times (I look way to cool – so I only do it once in a while) it is quite freeing, you should try it – you wake up and you’re like I don’t have to DO my DO cause I aint got no DO.

So I live in a vacant lodge on forty acres out in the middle of the mountains - just thought I would tell you that.

alcor said...

You suck. Are there any ghosts that come out to say hi? How'd you come about living there? Sounds awesome.

You still have that half squinty, clenched jaw pose bit goin' on. Not bad though for an old man. I'm sure your big head pulls off bald pretty well.

Do you have any pix's of Nicole and her kids?

Anonymous said...

It’s just great what you can do with photo shop nowadays – after I got married I put on a hundred pounds, I’m actually almost completely bald (a tuft on each side but the middle is total shine) and my teeth are as yellow as banana peels. I figured if you saw all of that, someone of your stature could no longer acknowledge me as a friend – I know how you Arden B wearing types are (you probably own stock in Anthropology and Williams Sonoma as well) Thanks for letting me be myself!!

Sorry no ghosts - but we do a library of about 500 vhs tapes from the eighties. We are the caretakers while the owners are trying to sell - it has been for sale for about ten years - kinda of a creepy weird deal. The word REDRUM keeps appearing on various walls from time to time - should I be worried??

alcor said...

LOL! I do know the power of photoshop banana tooth man. A friend conned me into being a part of a photoshoot (which actually ended up being pretty fun)--my kids didn't recognize me. They were like "Momma that's not you!" yet another example of how media is warping the minds of our young girls. I wish I could just decide to hate it all.

The anthropologie catalog is marketing at it's finest. I can't afford to do any more than flip through it though.

Oh my gosh the whole lodge thing sounds INcredible!!! Creepy cool. Somewhere in that collection has to be a tape of some fabulous unsolved crime. : )

Anonymous said...

I must confess – many a time have I slipped into Anthropologie (completely unnoticed and after coming from Urban Outfitters to pre-affirm my masculinity – of course) to take a photo or jot a note, they have the best ideas for rooms and shelves and stuff – there stinkin huge wide plank floors make me just want to give myself a splinter, they are so cool (they are wide planked in Denver)..
(A Statement) Someday I am going to build a house and that house is going to have a kitchen.That kitchen within the house will have crazy heart-grained, camphor solid wood cabinets and cupboards naturally finished with orange oil and bee’s wax (seated with ratty concrete countertops to boot) and on those cupboards the pulls and knobs will all be different, not one alike and those pulls and knobs will all be purchased (at $5 a pull and knob – ouch!!!) from Anthropologie… And if they don’t have enough different knobs and pulls to go on all of my cabinets when I need them, I will wait until they come out with new different knobs and pulls or I will get impatient and just smash one, glue it together with blue or green glue and use that as a different knob or pull… It will happen!!

alcor said...

Sounds like a killer plan!

When I go to Boston there is a circle of stores I go to for my "fix" one is called Shake the Tree, one is Paper Source (I will drive through traffic for an hour and a half just for a five minute walk and a 3.95 sheet of paper), the third is Anthropologie. I always end at Cafe Vittoria in the North End for a cappuccino and a cannoli with Josh.

I have one of the knobs--Just one. Glass. I am using it on a woodpanel painting. If you're one short at the end of the project, I'm not giving it to you.

I want to see a picture of that "someday" kitchen when you're finished!

Is Aaron Krienke (sp) gay? Did he ever get over your sister? I guess one of those questions should cancel out the other. But alas, life isn't always that straightforward.

Anonymous said...

Alright, now I get a LOL - I will respond to your most recent post at a different time - that was funny.

In reference to the deletion of posts: I am a firm believer of parents checking in on their kids – it is good – she should feel free to delete anything she deems necessary, you’re right my mother would be reading this as well… I am assuming your family is now permanently in NH?? When did they leave MN?? I loved how willing they were to let Abe and I go crazy with the texture mud on the ceiling of their new house – they may have scraped it the next day but we were made to feel that what we had produced was art and that we did a good job. Talk about offering a true environment of outlet freedom – they have a gift!!
You asked that I answer your questions: I don’t completely understand why I was a jerk during that time (I have pondered many of hours). I think that I was feeling (that is one of my greatest problems, feeling feelings and basing decisions that should not be feeling based upon them) great confusion mixed together with a need to run. It seems quite ironic that I ran from the one that stirred up all of the ideas to create and get away, to run and experience something quite different to understand the things that make me tick and have kept me somewhat sane. I often wonder what I would have gone on to do (I don’t think it would have been far, nor music nor anything that required me to step out)(I really am not trying to make this all about me – I apologize if it come across that way) had I not met and experienced you just being you. In so many ways (not saying my life or childhood or anything like that was crap – I love my family and where I come from) my life had been one of cruising, going with the flow, following what was easy. I later learned that so many of my decisions were based upon and directed by this ridiculous need for the approval of others. I have always battled not having to be the peacemaker… You didn’t operate that way. I loved it!!!
Vail – I was totally guarding myself and you (not to mention being somewhat a coward) because I knew you were dating/serious with another guy and that look you gave me when you realized Abe wasn’t in the car. I was like she hates my guts and she just wants to see Abe and I am this creep that has just terrified an innocent person that vowed to not be vulnerable and then when she was, she got crushed. You are really gonna want to throw something – I think I told you some lame story about this chic that I liked and that liked me back in Nashville so that I wasn’t the only single one at the table. Total crap, there was nothing – she just wanted my body and her breath stunk!! My other fear was distrust of myself. That what I was feeling at the end of that summer along with what came together in my heart and head further on that semester was not real. I was like “it is one thing for me to have liked Alyssa once and then burned her, but twice is completely unacceptable”. So I was afraid to go diving in at your expense. (I am not a completely awful person) That again is why I waited so long to send the letter.
Possible Personally Painful Information – Linda, feel free to delete: The afternoon I learned of your “life update” from Katie via email I balled like a baby (I already know you think I am a girl, so I can tell you this)(Again this is not about me - I don’t even pretend for a second to understand or know what you have endured or are feeling in the present) for three days. I tried to explain to Erin (not smooth) I called my mom and broke down (for you) on the phone, which then led to her immediate breaking down. Her words were “we all loved Alyssa, we need to be praying for her, you can do that”. I just wanted to go to your shop, have you design the most amazing commissioned piece of floral artwork for one that is deeply hurting, pay for it, have you hand it to me and then give it back to you. I felt so much guilt and hurt for you – maybe this is where the trusting thing comes in.
I haven’t really asked, how do you like being a mom??

alcor said...

Hey, you veered
.

Off to pick blueberries with the kiddos, Mom, and Miji. (tuesdays I work from home and attempt to do laundry--or pick blueberries, sounds like more fun)

Anonymous said...

I don't understand "hey, you veered"

Anonymous said...

Those pictures are beautiful - nice job on the kids!!!

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you would judge Krienke like that - what would make you think that. You know back in the day he had a total crush on you - he even talked to me about it, wanted to know if it would bother me... I told him to go for it - didn't he try to wrestle you or something one time?? Wrestling is his way of showing love or maybe just trying to Cop a Feel - that's just nasty.

I can't believe you would withhold the last knob if it came down to that – that’s worse than a projectile to the forehead. I know you didn’t mean it – it was really funny though…

alcor said...

That was in reference to "long live the unibrow"
"won't veer from the blog anymore--sorry"

We have TONS of blueberries.

Anonymous said...

Did I veer from the blog??

I think that if I had children and lots o blueberries I would be oh so tempted to smash a few of them (or a handful) all over their little cheeks – I would definitely give into that temptation…

alcor said...

I wasn't judging! I was ASKING. Did he really? You told him to go for it?? (the jerk boy rears his head once again) : ) I don't remember that at all...he was very sweet. Just not my type. I saw them in Grand Junction--they preformed at my favorite little bagel place. It was nice to see them--except for Nick (I think he was there anyway) he always annoyed me.
I don't remember the wrestling...I am sure I could have seriously hurt him though.

The knob bit made me laugh too. : )

Thanks for the compliment on my kiddos--they are awesome! Brynne is my girly girl--she loves to sing, loves to dance and loves to CLEAN and help with anything and everything. If it's pink, purple, and sparkly it holds top digs in her heart (not sure how that happened!) I like dressing her in brown--she HATES it. Noah likes to figure things out, scare people, and be a little dare devil. He's also incredibly sweet (and secretly loves Hot Pink). Not that Brynne isn't, but out of the two of them, Brynne would be the first to throw a punch while wearing her sparkly flip flops.

alcor said...

BTW, I am sure you already know this, but I am processing--not ignoring--your post.

Anonymous said...

Post?? What Post?? That's what that grinding noise is - hmmm you processing.. I can't believe you think krienke is Gay - I have totally never been asked that before. I am going to have to call and ask him if he gets that a lot. Who else do you go around assuming is gay??? What do you have against the gays??

Anonymous said...

Am I to assume that when you place words in all caps that you are yelling, such as "I was ASKING" ?? Just curious - how are your blueberries?

Anonymous said...

(JFTR)and I know I already commented as did you (I just re-read)but your comment about not giving me the knob, I can't stop crackin up - that was really funny and cruel!!! I need to get a life, sorry...

alcor said...

I know...I am proud : ) I tend to reread while processing (I need a life too) and every time I get to it I LOL. T'was so sweetly cruel.

When I am YELLING it will be followed by "!!!" (and you'll probably be able to hear me) When I am EMPHasizing it will appear in caps. Just JFTR : )

The blueberries are so Yummy! When we were little Josh and I used to pick them in Alaska by our fort --they grew on the ground just above the tundra and they were so itty bitty tiny--these are huge fatties!

Poor Aaron. Gay guys and lesbians to seem to have a thing for me. Something to do with the mustache. I AM NOT saying he is gay.

alcor said...

It must be said though, the whole gay thing is something I'll be asking God about. What about hermaphrodites? If a body can be so thoroughly confused surely someone's perceived sexual inclination could be??? I guess that's when it all goes back to the apple, but it is such a difficult issue.

(I read a great book called MiddleSex--it's fiction but really thoughtprovokinglybelieveable.

One of my most beloved souls on this planet is gay and I will always stand by him with nothing less than pride, adoration, and a wish that his life was easier.

I got up to see the sunrise today and it was hiding from me!!! The rain was nice though. I'm ready for a nap...

Back to Aaron briefly--he is a great guy and I wouldn't want to say anything to hurt his feelings so tell me to delete this if there is any chance of it getting back to him....see now I'm feeling bad...thanks.. : )

Anonymous said...

I think he already read it - damage is done!!!

You have got to give the sunrise time - you can't just be like "hey, today I want to be your friend, so burn the eye crust off with some light and colors but screw you the rest of the week".

The moon is kind of a whore like that so I understand your na├»ve folly (the moon talking) "hey look at me, I change all the time, don't really give a crap good fishing bad fishing, fatty, sliver, fatty, sliver, got me a man so let's party its midnight" but not the sunrise. I wouldn’t take it personal, just give it time..

How was your drive, find you some nice dandelions??

Anonymous said...

(UIU) Hey!!! (no pun intended) guess what I get to go do?? I get to go throw hay bails out in the lightning and the rain – whoo hooo!!! "And why do you get to go throw hay bails out in the lightning and the rain" you might ask (or not).. "Because I feed and wake up pigs, that is why", I would reply…

Apotheca Flower Shoppe said...

Seriously? Every morning/evening? What do you do if you want to go camping? Barns are cool--pigs too. Not to soure about the smell, but there are worse things--like" imaginary" girls breath from Nashville.

Anything can be fantastical when it's raining though.
Is it raining in Colorado too?

Anonymous said...

It is raining, that is why we had to go pull the bails.

I don't feed and wake pigs every morning just upon special occasions. I was actually going to make my feeding pig’s saga a poem but no such luck.

I feed pigs because Troy and Rob are in and out to Fair this week and little did I know that when I became a project manager/engineer for Big Valley Construction (if you ever look up the website, my picture looks like a serial killer) - the PREMIER custom home / multifamily / commercial contractor for Grand County Colorado - there was this little area called "fine print" at the bottom of my job description. The fine print said that upon special occasions, at your bosses request you will be a little farm bitch. (Sorry to use such vulgarities, but it was necessary) So, like I said upon special occasions I get to feed pigs and horses and chickens and dogs and throw bails of wet hay, hey...

It was actually an awesome break from the office and hopefully it will help shed some of the one hundred pounds I gained after I got married - still bald!!
My bosses (two brothers – they were superintendents for DIA amongst other really cool projects – like I said I am learning a ton) are awesome, they are very patient and they put up with my ADD so I really don’t mind feeding the pigs and walking through the hay fields, anyway it brings my mind back to the prairies.. You ever listen to A Prairie Home Companion?? Garrison Keillor on the radio, a quiet evening at home with the window cracked just enough to let the sound of the geese landing in the nearby lake pass through, perfect cup of coffee in hand, it’s totally the breathing!!

Anonymous said...

FYI – she wasn’t imaginary, I just didn’t like her.

Apotheca Flower Shoppe said...

Maybe a little serial killery--only because your hair is so absolutely perfectly combed to the left.... : )

It looks like an awesome company!!! You guys are building really beautiful things.

Gotcha...thanks for the clarification....I don't even remember you saying anything about a chic. I just remember thinking "oh crap, oh crap, oh crap...."

Apotheca Flower Shoppe said...

BTW, it was a little poemy, punny, sing-songy. Garrison is great. Def. makes you appreciate the homeland.

alcor said...

I started this earlier..

My drive was dandy. The Market is seriously something....all of these botanical beings travel from Australia, New Zealand, Columbia, Holland, France, Ecuador, and who knows where else--and arrive just one hour and 6 minutes from my font door

(as long as I get up by 4 and leave by 4:35 to miss traffic).

I have to deal with some sleezy, Boston old men that think women are there buying flowers merely for their viewing pleasure; but the overall experience is one of the few things that will get me up that early!

(no dandilions though...I did get these super cool green dr. Suess-like dudes--they are a variety of dianthus.)

Thanks for the pep talk about the Sunrise...I'm sure I'll try again after I rebuild a bit. Actually I forgot something for the wedding on Friday, so I may have to go back tomorrow a.m. Ugh. Having the world come together an hour from my door once a week is plenty.

--My parents did move to NH as part of a plan of congregation. Matt and I wanted to move back to Colorado but after a New England based family reunion a plan was conceived--why be scattered all over the place (I am sure it was my stupid idea) when we could all live in the same general area??? I was excited about seeing dad repair his relationship with my older siblings and having myself establish more of a relationship with my older sisters (not sure if you remember or not, but I have two older sisters and two older brothers) my sister Lisa I have always felt close, but my sister Kim was somewhat foreign. ..and I discovered we were a lot alike! It was so cool! For the first time I was like,

"wow I am not the only scattered mess on the planet!!!"

We decided that while the White and Green Mts. were not the Rockies, we'd have the Ocean, Boston, and NYC, AND my family. Josh moved to Boston; Matt, Noah, and I moved to NH...a while (couple of years) later Brynne was born and shortly after that Mom, Dad, Caleb, and Jeremiah moved (Ben stayed in MN). Shortly after, they put their house up for sale and have been trying to go back to MN ever since. Thankfully, (selfishly speaking) the housing market crashed within months....

...break. I am freaking out b/c I have to give a presentation to the GARDEN CLUB tomorrow night! I HATE talking in front of groups of people when they are there for the sole purpose of listening to me say something that is supposed to be interesting and informative.... I am supposed to have an hours worth of design talk and presentation...

I work with plants in various stages of death--my thumb is NOT green--this is the Garden Club....when I said yes 6 months ago I thought I'd have this whole flower thing completely figured out and know what I was doing by now....who plans 6 months ahead????

I'd better stop procrastinating and come up with a plan....


lata

Anonymous said...

That totally hurts!! That was like my first photo with the new hairpiece and everybody else said it looked great. How did I know you would be the honest one.

Do your parents want to buy a totally renovated, super-cool bungalow in a historic neighborhood in Florida, only six blocks from the St. Johns River?? They would still be sort of close. Gotta love the current real estate market.

What took you to Texas?? EEEEk! I need to work on my attitude towards Texans - I just get so sick of dodging them at the Ski Resort - they all ski in those damn black jeans and cowboy hats.

Anonymous said...

I have a "remedy for fear of speaking in front of people" theory that is sure to help with your gig - oh crap I just realized that your post was from last night which would make your gig tonight, sorry. I can still give it to you some time - oops.

alcor said...

THAnks.... : )

It was fun! Sever lack of planning never seems to fail me--well, almost never : ) I was freaking out even more because I thought it was at 6 and no one was there! I was like, great, everyone is boycotting Apotheca and I didn't know it....it turns out it was at 6:30 and the first person to show up was a guy from the newspaper--a nervous chin twitch thing started.

But as soon as I started blabbing I was fine. It was so cute at the end this little lady came up to us and was like, "have you ever used shells in your vases? I have so many shells at home, I can't wait to try it!!!" Inspiration, which is of course the goal. It was fun! I think I'll pass next time though...the public-speaking pre-stress is killer.

Hope the pigs were kind.

alcor said...

hear ya on the Tex-ass'ns--trust me, I have my issues. I remember them invading Lake City and treating it like their own personal playground--cocky peeps. I realize I am being completely stereotypical, but Matt said in school "world history" and "american history" were swallowed up in Remember The Alamo. Dallasites had absolutely no sympathy for my bike or my rebellious VW. HOWEVER, my sweet boy was born there and the Tex-Mex is stuff of dreams. Also, I ADORE Matt's Grandmother--she still lives there and I consider her to be a kindred spirit.

Anonymous said...

So, curious as to the "time line" of your life (Can I be this nosey)?? States, Cities, College past CC, one might assume you studied design or art but then again I really enjoy and work construction and have a degree in commercial music / business so one shouldn't assume. How is the coffee? What is the smell/feel (not trying to be too personal - I have just found, at least for me, smells often distinguish a place) of your shop.

Where do you get your coffee, do you roast yourself, can you fit it in a jar maybe drive it in a car – sorry you Dr. Seussish plants inspired me. I don’t know if Dr. Seussish plants are the scientific name but that was a great description, could totally picture your find.

So a Tribute: Today’s was good but not quite complete perfection – Tuesday morning I made the perfect cup of Joe. I am a passionate French Presser, I love the taste and if the cup “is” or near perfection I will only require one cup in the morning – so less waste with the press.

Key Point: I am a solo coffee drinker (it’s just not right)(I ask Erin almost every day if she would like some ((more to torment than anything)) I receive my snarled nose “hell no” and then go on my marry way - this has gone on for over five years – she loves the game, I tell myself) I love to quote my wife cussing – mainly because SHE CUSSES and has taught me most of the words that I know but completely denies the fact…
Back to Perfection, I must note this because you appreciate Art and I believe this to be a complete work of perfect art.

Tricky fraction though, in order for it to be paraded it must all come together and unfortunately the portion I control (the coffee) only comes together once every month or so. I refuse to time, measure or even occasionally stir. What I dictate are the beans and the container from which I sip.
The elements/elemental hmmm.. You may want to post this near your counter so that during the rare occasion someone isn’t enjoying their complete Apotheca (you will have to tell me your definition of this name) coffee experience they can understand the full scope and not just blame your beans, moustache or smell or something..

1st you must take a shower – you need to clear the morning sinuses so that you can “smell the bean”, if you’re not willing to “smell the bean” than you will never “taste the coffee” (if you are familiar with the move Spinal Tap – this will be much funnier) Oh yes you will taste something but it won’t be the coffee it will be the rodent dust cobweb crap from night’s rest filtering through the senses leading to your brain and they might be like “oh this is familiar, by God I think this is coffee but I am not happy and you don’t get your fifty cent tip and crap I want more for free” or something like that.

2nd Don’t brush to late – While I am not one to encourage not brushing ones teeth, especially in the morning, I am just not totally convinced that perfect oral hygiene should always over ride the perfect cup of joe (maybe that explains the banana peel smile) One should either brush at first wake, let things simmer a bit maybe a glass of cleansing water or enjoy the cup through unaltered teeth and tongue and then bring a pocket brushing kit for the office. I don’t think “Fluoride Roast” was ever a big hit if you get my drift.

3rd I am one that almost enjoys chewing up the beans and sucking on them for a portion of the day as much as the perfect cup – the difference is that a cup of liquid in its rare perfection can offer an element of “smooth” I call this the “smooth experience” beans grinding around in the teeth and throat don’t scream smooth much. So if the water is right, the grind comes together, I push the plunge at the perfect stroke and tick and it is all poured into my ever-so-spill able 99cent white (white is key, opposites attract, so it holds the flavor better and longer) mug from World Market, ever so often it comes together and I think the Baby Jesus starts giggling instead of Crying for a change in my life.

4th and final – This may be tough for your clients to understand but this is paramount.
You have completed the first sip and things are checking out, no dust wuggies or Crest present, you have the near perfect (I utter the word “near” because it all has to come together for perfection due process, don’t rush it already) taste of the warmed bean on the tip of your tongue. This is where the magic begins..
You walk outside (cup in hand, don’t forget the cup) and the air is a crisp 45 degrees (you know the smell) slight foggy haze hanging on before the morning burn takes its toll. You look to the West, ahh look a Moose in a beautiful meadow, to the East “yes there it is” the Fence Like Continental Divide complete with its snow capped graces, the South, the “now green” slopes of Mary Jane and Winter Park ski resort, just a reminder of what is to come and let’s not forget the North, the towering Fourteeners of Rocky Mountain National Park bringing you in, the whole drive. One steps into one’s bumpy old ride hangs a left and heads north for the next twenty minutes, all the while tipping his mug of perfection to the towering reminders of shear ruggedness. That is what completes the cup of dark perfection, it’s all in the fourth step. Oops you may not want to post that final step, crap I totally didn’t think that through, that won’t work, little bluff to the east, Goffstown family band shell park to the west, umm I really feel bad now – just stick to the first three. Sorry!!
(Trying to you get you back for the knob thing – feeling a little fiesty this AM)

Anonymous said...

No comment?? That's what I thought!!

Anonymous said...

I think I win the longest post award..

Anonymous said...

Just to somewhat clear myself of the "jerk boy rears his ugly head" accusation.. Aaron liked you before you and I became "better" friends, (unlike me) he was completely un-aware that you were totally digging my chili, so I told him to go for it, no harm no foul, right?? Did I hear a YELL!!!!

Are you still processing??

alcor said...

Oh my heavens! Ok, let me go get a cup of coffee so I can more thoroughly read this : )

Anonymous said...

mmmm cup of coffee - you may want to follow my steps before sipping...

You guys sell Tanzania Peaberry?

Anonymous said...

how's your reading going?

Anonymous said...

So you pretty much have unlimited access to really good coffee - not exactly free since you're paying for it but unlimited nonetheless?

Anonymous said...

You meant to say "more thoroughly ENJOY reading this" that's what you meant right - cool!!

alcor said...

But of course, that it EXACTLY what I meant.

To be perfectly honest with you, my favorite roaster is Java Joe, out of NYC; but I really wanted a local roaster. We use Java Tree. Nice logo and packaging, but overall it's just a little too acidic. I wish it had more body, depth. But their house blend is pretty good....Ok, stop interrupting my reading....

Anonymous said...

Can you say "hooked on phonics worked for me"..Are you a slow reader or are just trying to savor every word?? I am so full of myself today, it's cracking me up..

Anonymous said...

BTW - thanks for being perfectly honest - seriously - thanks!!

alcor said...

I do have children and OTHER actual PRIORITIES in my life freak show : )

Silly me, when I told you not to forget that you are incredible i almost forgot that you are far too cocky to EVER forget.

alcor said...

Was that too harsh? I was only kidding....seriously. There I go feeling bad again.

I just walked in the door from delivering
a wedding. It always stresses me out.

Thanks for rubbing in step # four jerkboy! Regardless of my roaster, you are right, your coffee will always taste far better....

alcor said...

And yes, you should have heard a yell and feel the projectile momentarily....

Anonymous said...

The blinding tears of pain won't let me read past the post about me being cocky - so therefore I haven't read your apology yet.

I didn't think that the FF way of life would let parents use their children as excused to hide behind. hmmm

Anonymous said...

You said I was incredible!!! That's really nice - wow!

alcor said...

OK FINE, perhaps I was savoring ever word--it was thoughtful, interesting, made sense in a really strange way, and it was funny.

Anonymous said...

Would you expect anything less??

alcor said...

Oh my goodness.

Anonymous said...

Alright, you hit me square in the bald spot - nice shot!!

alcor said...

I hope it hurt

Anonymous said...

Shouldn't you be hugging your kids or eating blueberries or something - let them out of the closet, that's just cruel...

I'm done being mean now..

Anonymous said...

thanks for the compliment on the Coffee Essay.

alcor said...

You are very welcome my humble friend.
: )

Anonymous said...

FYI - Hey I checked for ya - Java Tree does roast a Tanzania Zanzibar washed Peaberry - This stuff rocks and yes I would be honored for you to serve it in commemoration of little ol me. "The JG Blend" strong, bold, ever so smooth flavor with just a hint of insecurity - what?

Anonymous said...

Oh crap, I just posted that last little bit of arrogance before I saw your post, sorry - feel free to disregard..

alcor said...

LOL! Ok, I will add it IMMEDdiately. Thanks for doing my homework.

HMMM, the JG Blend. Tastes, much like smells, speak volumes. It'll be interesting to see what this blend lacks-- (said only to antagonistically inflame Insecurity)

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately you shouldn't let others do your homework for you as Peaberry aint no blend - only straight up pure dark perfection.

You had to know that was coming..

You obviously did succeed in rallying my insecurity nerve.

alcor said...

I can't wait to give it a try. Dark perfection huh white boy?

It being I am filled with confidence I can graciously thank you for the education. You're right I shouldn't trust others to do my homework.

What else looks interesting?

Anonymous said...

How's the picture rail coming??

So let me ask a serious question (deeper connections within this question that can be explained at a later time, nothing having to do with you or the past just a swirl in my head)

How does it feel to have set forth with a dream (I can only assume that you have planned and longed for the opportunity to be a successful entrepreneur, to have a flower shoppe with such creativity interwoven throughout, and now a coffee shop, I mean come on!!) Even if I haven’t heard this from your lips I know that these are dreams that you have had. So how does it feel to have poured yourself into such a dream and now you are able to stand back and look at its fruition (I think that word works)??

There must be a feeling attached and I would like to know how you best describe it. It’s quite an accomplishment STUD!!!

But unfortunately an accomplishment is not a feeling so I would like to know the feeling, the mindset…

Have a great weekend, I gotta run!

Anonymous said...

Savoring! Ne plus ultra! Thanks-

alcor said...

(I typed like a madwoman last night and hit "post" before checking for errors--I couldn't stand it and had to fix them!!)


How does it feel to be living out parts of my dream---one that has been written of, literally and theoretically dreamt about, quantified and catagorized in the form of "what if" checklists and business plans, written of in journals and on the pages of entrepreneur books; one that has been brought to life in part through design ideas and vision boards, one that has been verbalized to close friends and loved ones, fellow artists and strangers yet "seers", pitched to banks and landlords and family members--and to myself...how does it feel? Especially when very few people believed it could work? I remember an art teacher all but scoffing at my "flowers & tea chest" idea when I was designing the logo. She said maybe if I was in Boston, but never in Goffstown. I keep waiting for her to come check out the shop. : )

It feels affirming! It feels like I can do anything--anything that is derived from purity, want, and a little desperation.

I think about the times in my life I failed to finish something or I failed to try...each instance left a mark--it ate away at me and my idea of who I was --who I wanted to be. I remember viewing myself as a quitter--I felt it yet I knew it didn't fit. The turning point...I had just quit something big--but it was different. It wasn't fear driven--it wasn't
"I'm not good enough" driven. I stopped in my tracks because I knew it was right. I was putting energy towards something--doing very well at something--that wasn't me. I wasn't using my gifts in the way I wanted to. I had learned so much and grown incredibly and it was time to branch out--for ME. I started putting more energy towards my passions rather than keeping them on the sidelines. I pursued my art more fully--I started building "face" in the art community and within myself. I made my first vision board that -among many things-depicted a store front, a church, a mother cutting her child's hair, meaningful words and phrases, the New York Gift show, Mountains, Art Materials, a killer antique looking bathtub outfitted with jets, a woman in a dress on her bike,...

My path back to believing in me was painting.

I remember dragging Matt to an art gallery and seeing this incredible charcoal artist--I understood it b/c at the time I only worked in graphite and charcoal--no color. Next to the charcoal artist was another whose work was FULL of color. Color like I hadn't' seen before--richness and depth, but bold! Interesting, light, and filled with curiosity and meaning. For some reason I understood that too. It was so familiar and I knew that it was inside of me. I had been afraid of color because I didn't think I was "good enough" ) a relentlessly badgering notion for me) but knew I wanted to explore giving it a voice in my life. I told Matt,
"I can do this!"
poor guy doesn't know how to handle me--while I would have much rather had him encourage it, I just took it as a challenge. It wasn't immediate, but eventually I started a painting...and finished it. Then I did another and fishined it, and another and another and another.....I sarted bringing paintings to the art shows and they sold!

***Interjection***some things are not ready to be finished, and when the lack of finishing is because it is not yet time to be finished, then it is PERfectly acceptable. I started a painting of Noah and I shortly after he was born. It's big and started out on canvass but I covered the canvass with papers and fabric. It's part of a mother's face and a child's head. I stopped...stuck, unsure of where to go; yet it has always hung on my wall, just waiting for the next move. THree years later I added another texture layer --a square, and painted it green. I wasn't sure why. A year later I realized that the green captured the juncture point of the mother's cheek and the child's head--denoting the Connection. The surface connection, yes, but more importantly, the spiritual connection between a parent and a child. The green--growth, evolution, ever changing yet constant; and always there penetrating through space and time. Green has been close to my heart ever since. The next move will come. I'm not rushing it. I am savoring the now.
**end Interjection**

My vision is layered and varied yet connected and complete. I found Apotheca in the Latin Dictionary--root words are intriguing-I am a freak, surprise surprise. It means storehouse or varitey. My granma found another meaning, "one who makes and sells". I have had many people tell me to "streamline". Well, I have been trying to streamline me my whole life. I an NOT streamlineable. I am a varied yet connected disaster and I just say God gave me Apotheca--the word--as if to say,

"It's OK, honey, I love you just the way you are...go for it and don't leave any of it out--remember, I gave you the desires that burn in your heart--stop beating yourself up about it!?"

I remember being in my dark basement as a little girl in Alaska--I had a small lamp, some blue yarn, construction paper, scissors, elemer's glue, a crayon, and a big piece of bark I had found in the woods earlier that day. When I found the bark, I instantly saw a mermaids tail, and that afternoon I brought my mermaid to life. it was magic! I can feel the thought, "I can't wait to be an artist!"

Little Alyssa had her painted rocks for sale at the end of her rear driveway that abutted the backroad that, really, only the caribous used. My granma-the same one that found the alternative meaning of "apotheca" bought one--that was my first and only rock sale.

On the opposing driveway--the one that faced the Denali highway--I would put up my lemonade stand. I don't ever remember a single soul stopping. I do remember a moose popping up and I chased after it trying to show off for Kevin Mayo. He later told my dad and I got spanked--one of the few times I remember my Dad's anger being thoroughly directed at me alone.

It also feels sad in some ways for me too., but that's for another day.

I am done processing. I want to reply. Maybe tomorrow. You'll have to space the reading out over the week!

You have a good weekend too. Midnight, time for bed.

Apotheca Flower Shoppe said...

So...what are the deeper connections within the question that can be explained at a later time, nothing having to do with me or the past just a swirl in your head?

I ordered the peaberry...I mean the JG blend....

Anonymous said...

Nice selection - you won't regret

alcor said...

Processing spill out...

When Mom and Dad sold their house four years ago this month it still donned the custom Abe and Jeremy one of a kind textured ceiling, as well as your signatures in the corner.

I do not think your a girl! Momma's boy, In touch, a bit of a whiner...NOT a girl : )

I remember the letter starting with (or it seemed to start with to me):

"this isn't an 'I want you back' letter".

It made me smile. And I remember my chest living in the back of my throat while I read it. But it was also confusing. I was happy that you had taken the time to think of me and to write to me. I was happy that you hadn't forgotten about me all together. I had missed the fun, the light and the ease along with the connection and carefully guarded depth of our friendship. But then there were our games of hide and seek, and wall up wall down, and never really wanting to be vulnerable...those feelings/fears were right there too. And the final feeling after starting to be known and beginning to be exposed, and then being shut out--that was PAIN; and I wanted to run from ever experiencing that again.

I remember feeling like your letter was saying..."maybe I wasn't done yet, there was more I wanted to know" and I filled in the blanks with "just in CASE we would have worked, MAYBE I really did like you..."

I do thank you for questioning your own feelings in Vail, and not wanting to "jump in" without knowing for fear of raking me through the coals. Of course, no one ever really knows, and I think it would have been nice to know more. I think some decisions are OK to base on feelings-even if they are a little muddled. But, under my rock it was ever so safe; and like I said, protecting my heart at all costs was key...not sure why.

If at the end of that summer prior, you weren't "feeling" me, than pulling away would have been the natural reaction. I missed the friendship part that would have talked about it, but those conversations I'd imagine are not often pleasant--especially when the "why" isn't particularly clear. That's when one falls back on the "it's not you, it's me" line.
I took the "Ok dude, if you have to THINK about whether or not you want to spend time with me, than let me just make the decision for you" route. I wanted to protect myself, and value myself--pride and fear were huge motivating factors here. But you know what, I understood your preparing to take flight and needing to sever or stretch the cords that seemed to ground you--though I didn't like your methods-- I was watching you do it to everyone around you; and I felt that if you saw me as one of those cords, I wanted to bow out before the severance pierced my then vulnerable heart entirely. But I missed you and I did wish it had been different.


Opening my heart up to being seen
(Matt only understood parts of me, he didn't have a need to know all of it--he didn't ask, didn't notice, and for some reason that made me feel safe, like I wouldn't be hurt.)
and potentially rejected was just too scary.

I was so young. "I kissed dating goodbye" was the "in" book on the Christian scene when I arrived at Camp. Within a couple of months of being at there, Matt told me he was interested in "courting". I freaked out. I had hives the next day. I called Mom in a panic. I liked him--he was nice, adventurous, good at everything... He was 7 years older than me, He flirted with absolutely everyone, and yet at some point decided to direct all of his attention on me. I had told mom he was a "player" and I wouldn't be one of his ego strokers. I was not interested in marriage AT ALL! The camp mentor approached me (as it turns out this guy told Matt if he didn't get on with it and ask me out to the Blue Iguana he was going to--I swear the place was a giant trap set by men approaching thirty who wanted to find a wife : )) and asked me how I felt about it. I said, "not good" he told me that courting was just spending time with someone until you see a reason why you wouldn't marry them. I told him I didn't want to get married. He said, you don't have to want to get married now, but don't you someday in the future? Sure, maybe, but I do have this whole mountains and my dogs plan...
He went on...Courting is just a way of safeguarding yourself from carelessly spending time with people that you know you would never be interested in marrying in the first place. More hives.

Regardless of what you were trying to convey and Regardless of what I would and wouldn't let myself hear or feel, it freaked me out enough that I had to get rid of everything I had from you. The whole box I had been saving had to go. I was too afraid that I'd carry a piece of you with me to my hiding place-- it would ebb and fester and keep me from giving my all to Matt. And I felt that Matt loved me completely, thoroughly, and without question. I loved him for that--not realizing that his narcissistic tendencies would cause his "love" to be directly attached to what he wanted/needed from me rather than who I was. It gets complicated, but....

The thought that I inspired you in any way to grow, expand, and explore means a lot to me. I have no doubts though, that you would have found a way to dig a little deeper into yourself--even if our paths wouldn't have crossed. Still, thank you for seeing me as playing a part, and for telling me about it.

And would you stop apologizing for 'making it about you'??? You know YOUR perspective, YOUR thoughts, YOUR stuff!? So when you talk about that, why would I be bothered? That's exactly what I would want to know.

Question: Why did you feel guilt? You said "I felt hurt and guilt" and--"maybe this is where the trusting thing comes in"...what did you mean on both counts... I want to understand what you meant here...You have no reason to feel guilt nutso!

As far as the look. I was fearfully happy to see you.... when Abe wasn't in the car...I was like, "Abe didn't want to see me??? He has a headache??? Get over it man!?!" Shortly after that, it sunk in that you and I were going to be alone...then started the "oh crap, oh crap, oh crap...." But I was NOT thinking I hated you.

I can't tell you how much it means to me to know that you and your Mom prayed for me and cared about me and what was going on in my life, thank you to her and to you.

Crap, it's 1:50. Past my bedtime. Not sure if I have purged my processing completely yet, but I gotta go to sleep. I'll wait and post in the morning, just in case my judgment is failing me at this early hour.
Lata,
A


OK, I have re-read like 5 times--I'm just gonna post it.

Anonymous said...

I will now begin my five to ten time read through and will have to post in the morning... Fine - I will stop apologizing

alcor said...

: )

Anonymous said...

Let me guess - the " :) " is code for "I just had a cup of the Tanzania Peaberry and I will never be the same" "this cup o joe along with the prodigious intellect of the person that referred this roast has rocked my world. Hey nice job on making the cover of the magazine!!

alcor said...

Thank you!

Perhaps tomorrow that's what the ": )" will be a product of...I work from home most Tuesdays so I haven't been able to partake of the new-non-blend taste of dark perfection.

alcor said...

He won't be delivering the Peaberry until Friday...I guess perfection will have to stinkin' wait.

Anonymous said...

Somewhat Accusatory:

So do most people know your really not as crazy as you make out or do you just totally have them convinced?? I mean I know you claim to howl at the moon, let your lawn overgrow, scream a lot at the voices and colors but I actually think it is more of an attention getter – I’m calling your bluff!! That crap doesn’t make someone crazy or really even that odd - just my opinion..

Anonymous said...

FYI - if you brew the Peaberry strong enough you won't be disappointed. Guaranteed!!!

Anonymous said...

You know I have made a lot of assumptions with the Peaberry and your ability to enjoy. You may not be able to handle such boldness, it may take some time for your young palet to truly adjust or accept - when did you really start drinking coffee anyway??

alcor said...

Ok, now you're trying to piss me off baldy.

Anonymous said...

I would never do that..


Just for the record, I'm not Bald...

alcor said...

Nobody knows I'm crazy--except for the neighbors. Just a little disorganized.

Now you have set me up perfectly.... If I say I don't like the peaberry, it is entirely due to my "immature" taste buds; If I say I like the peaberry, I am either just trying to be in your cool "view of the mountains" club, or merely giving you the painful opportunity to flaunt your relatable attributes.

I shall overcome.

Anonymous said...

You give me way to much credit - I really just hope you enjoy it..

alcor said...

I know you're not bald--photoshop can't touch the brillo.

Anonymous said...

Don't mess with the Brillo!!

Anonymous said...

A reference to your dumping of the box of stuff – I chucked the last and I guess only picture I had of you out the window going 65 on a Tennessee country road, like five months after you got married. I had the picture and I was talking about you, the dude I was riding with was like “dude, she’s a married woman you need to say goodbye”, so in a jerk of reaction I instantly chucked it and then I was like “what the crap did I just do”. I never found it. I am sure some type of Rotadendrumy thing is still growing in that ditch.

Just an afternoon short story of sorts..

alcor said...

Just embrace it. You're crazy too.

alcor said...

What picture was it? Thanks a lot!!! : )

That reminds me of when my cat jumped out the window of our old dodge pickup truck while we were going down the highway with a semi behind us!!! Dad pulled over and we found her after searching for an hour (she was such a nasty thing) in the thistle
--alive and all the meaner.

Anonymous said...

What makes you think I would remember the pic all of these years – ego freak!!


Close up head shot, blazing blue eyes, black Nike ball cap stolen from Chris (can’t remember his last name – cool guy – I think his band was playing at the youth thing the night I saw you and Matt, I could be confused) brim pulled down low, pic taken after a quartet concert that you somehow survived.

Not a bad pic for an old gal – Oh that’s right now you’re the old gal.

Chris Buller - I remembered

alcor said...

Hey I am TOtally embracing this 30 thing. I plan to fashion my life after fine wine. humm, FW--guess I can add that to FF and CD.

alcor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
alcor said...

botherED me the most. The song--I think it is among the "nicest things ever done for Alyssa" grouping.

PUNCHlist...how's that going?

Anonymous said...

We turn the building over to the owners monday - we got our elevator inspection today which was a big sigh of relief. We as a company don't like to cut things this close but the owners have initiated almost half a million in changes in the past month and a half and haven't really wanted to budge on the completion date.

The last two months have been crazy. While we have been completing this project Rob and I have also been starting a new 50,000 square foot rec center (Major controversy with in the community but this is going to be a totally sweet project - I have been working with a company out of Boulder to design a climbing wall and have a $300,000 wall budget to play with) (closing out a job is the toughest part, next in line is a getting a project out of the ground - starting) So things have been exciting to say the least.

We are blessed as a company as we have tons of work while so many other contractors throughout the valley have been going under. You can actually check out some pics of the courthouse if you so desire, a few weeks old (they are ever so exciting!! ) on our website there is a client section, they are under the projects under construction section.

So things are good, busy and exciting.

I may need some of your expert/artistic ideas/advice for a farm table company I am planning to get going soon (little side thing that I will push at first with interior designers and definitely via the web. Huge, thick, beat up farm tables that look really cool and weigh a ton - I built one a year ago for a Thanksgiving party we had and it turned out pretty cool. I will keep you posted..

alcor said...

What's the stuff on the floor on picture number 1? Is it painted textured concrete? It looks cool whatever it is. Picture 3? So what do you do exactly? How does one even start something so huge? Do you act as designers, architects, engineers? Or do you get the plans and then become the implementors? I guess I could read about it on the website...

Wow! A rec center??? $300,000 for a climbing wall!! Awesome. And I was overwhelmed with 10,000 floral budget. How fun!! What's the controversy about? Change (God forbid). Just don't mess with the view or your coffee will get all screwed up.

I'll take one. Two actually, one for my dining room and one for the bridal consult room--only you probably wouldn't sell it if you thought someone was going to paint it.....it'd be white and I want a leaf so when we have classes in the fall I can make it bigger. Lots of like worm holes and hammer marks--actually I would leave the top wood and just paint the legs and the transition board thingy--unless the table top is so thick you wouldn't have a transition board thingy. (My mom will probably want one too...she's been trying to replace the one they had in Alaska for years) You have to come up with a good logo.

Yes, keep me posted...are you going to have pixs of the rec center up? Or is that non-big-valley...

Wow, that was really ADD. Did I lose you?

alcor said...

hmm, skylar is from Texas..is he a jerk?

alcor said...

Rotadendrumy thing, huh....you could have picked a better plant....

due to see the blasted sunrise tomorrow. Ugh. NOT looking forward to it.

Anonymous said...

You paint it, it comes back.

Skyler had a brief stint in texas but spent most of his better life in Alaska and China - so that has kept him cool - don't take that as a compliment.

Anonymous said...

Was the sunrise still shy??

alcor said...

No, she was there....and lovely. It's a beautiful day today actually! We've had a lot of rain so seeing blue sky is nice.

It's not quite the same as it is in Colorado or even MN. The way the sun rolls in over the fields or hmmm, can I remember a Colorado sunrise? I remember waking up freezing....frost on the ground--I do remember the smell--trying to get in the way of warmth as creeped closer to the tent...

Anyway, I miss the open spaces....NH has a lot of trees--trees are good, but it's nice to mix it up a bit with space and killer views.

Skylar...he looked like a good dude. China? Was he a missionary or something?

alcor said...

Corey (one of our stinkin' awesome Barista chics) LOVES 3rd Eye Blind and has been playing them in the shop--I haven't heard them in forever...it makes me feel so vintage!!!

Anonymous said...

ask her if she knows the song "the background" it's tear jerker one of my faves - you're so vintage!!

CFARSV - the sunrise is a dude not a chic - the moon can be a chic or whatever but not the sunrise.. Get it right please...

Skyler's dad is an oil dude - he has moved a lot - he has dog named Ong – it doesn’t have any teeth and kind of smells weird.

I have a golden retriever named scout-he rocks- accept he doesn’t really retrieve so we usually just refer to him as a golden. So I really like shoes and boots and stuff especially when I find a pair that makes my size 13 look like an 11.

So I have been eyeing and researching and checking online and REIing and analyzing (all done at different times and moods to claim complete verification) this pair of Patagonia really cool shoes (the soles are made from Veg oil and are stitched instead of glued, suppose to be some green save the atmosphere thingy) - it has been a process and there not exactly cheap. So I finally pulled the trigger last Sunday at REI – I wore them to the counter and out the door – we bonded. Walked to some friends house Monday night – scout at my heals – kicked off the shoes on their front porch (don’t want to be rude) they live about a quarter mile away. Scout chilled outside until he decided to walk home. So at eleven I walked outside to leave and shit, wouldn’t you know only one new Patagonia shoe on the deck. So those shoes were really cool for one day – I was totally already attached and everything.

Oh, well they have probably already bio-degraded in the field. I still love scout and he doesn't really care..

alcor said...

Oh man, bummer! I am sorry about the shoes. I guess it's payback for making the neighbors smell your feet? Still that sucks. The perfect pair of shoes--much like the perfect pair of jeans-- is worth their weight.

Just the legs??? I won't touch the top??? Or the side thingys.

What the heck is CFARSV? The sunrise is a chic. The moon is a dude. I know. I fall asleep with him every night.

Anonymous said...

If you admit that the sunrise is a dude I will tell you what CFARSV stands for, I can't believe you can't figure it out!!


Don't worry about the painting the table thing - you WON'T be getting one. Feel free to go and look at the one I send your mom.

Hey why don't you send me one of your paintings and/or drawings oh but I just want to add some color and maybe a swing or cloud here or there but don't worry I'll just do it at the bottom or near the edge thingy...

alcor said...

OK, I get it. You are totally right. I won't paint it.

Anonymous said...

I think Pottery Barn or Bed Bath and Beyond would have some great tables that would look great in your shop - pre painted even - totally authentic - maybe check Wal-mart or Target they would probably fit the overall feel/ style better. Don't ya think??

You didn't really receive your CFARSV very well!!!

alcor said...

I get it I get it. Heavens Tibetsy!

Give me a break...I woke up WAY too early and last night my brother Caleb got pulled over iIN MY driveway at 1 am. He and Ricky (my adopted Mexican brother--sort-of) came by to say goodbye (they are on their way to Liberty University for school) and the meano cop said the "looked suspicious". After saying, "I looked up the car and it's coming up stolen, so I am arresting you both....just kidding!"

jerk

So we chatted a bit and then they took off. He has had a "thing" for this girl named Kayla for the past three years (jr. year high school). He doesn't want to tell her because he is worried it will mess up their friendship--he wanted to talk. I told him to seek advice elsewhere.

CFARSV....just tell me.

Anonymous said...

TYMWTK - Those side "thingys" are called aprons - all of our tables are through dowelled, exposed mortis and tenon joined at the legs and side aprons - so when you "just" paint over the side thingys and the legs you "just" paint over the most recognizable character marks of the table and the era and style it represents. "Hey lets sand down a Van Gogh, it's just to rough and bumpy"

I'm not mad, just a little shocked. "Hey I just finished a new song wanna change the lyrics for me while your painting my aprons??

I guess I did try to get picture rail in your wonderfully designed shop, that was a little presumptious and art messying. Oh the guilt!!

Anonymous said...

I can't take the all the excuses!!

alcor said...

I'm working on the picture rail. You are so impatient!

I get it. I should have known that that your work would be filled with depth and character--even on the "side thingys" and I do apologies for assuming it would need paint.

If I were lucky enough to have your work grace my shop, I vow not to TOUCH the bloody aprons.

Anonymous said...

The most prominent (in my brain) experience I remember about your father. I remember when I was going to meet him for the first time at the cornfield (I went with you to pick up something late one afternoon - late night - I believe there was a bridge involved) I had hurt my right wrist that week and I was freaked that I was going to give him this lame, dead fish hand shake. I remember preparing for the pain because I was like I ain't giving no dead fish hand shake - I still believe a hand shake can be a good judge of a man (that is probably really unfair - especially if you were never taught that) Most painful hand shake I ever experienced!!! Just a memory..

Anonymous said...

Now you're just kissing up!

Correction For A Rookie Sunrise Viewer

Anonymous said...

Isn't it Heavens To Bettsy

I think Tibetsy would be like if you looked like a sherpa or something.

alcor said...

eeks! You didn't tell me about that I don't think.....sorry. He liked you. You were tall and had big feet--everyone else he was worried I could beat up.

Thank you. I am a bit of a rookie.

Anonymous said...

I must come clean on the shoe - Last night me and my search party found it in a dirt pile thirty feet from the house. Scout and I have similiar attention spans - I should have implimented that theory ealier on as it took us over an hour of looking.

So did your parents chip out your basement bedroom floor and bring it with them before they moved from the cornfield. That was a sweet floor, I must say...

alcor said...

phonetic spelling is always more interesting than proper spelling when referring to heritage verbage.
Whatever.

CFARSV.Like I would EVER know what that meant...


TYMWK teach you my way to K? I dunno. ooftah

Anonymous said...

I think you may have had me beat in the feet department though..
ha ha ha

Anonymous said...

Here I go cracking myself up again..

alcor said...

No, they painted over the walls and covered over the floor. Mom toyed with framing part of the flower I had painted on the wall. Those flowers have popped up a lot in my life...who knew I'd have a flower shoppe!? Crazy.

I am glad you found your shoe.

Noah really wants a dog. I told him not until he is 10. Lady (my lab) died and my parents bought a lap dog that is treated far better than my sweet lady ever was. I am trying not to hate it.

Anonymous said...

I agree - plus if you do that a lot it completely helps hide when you don't know how to spell something. (that's my trick anyway) I kinda figured you were doing what you were doing.

Though You Might Want to Know - Less the T for the to.

alcor said...

Ya know what's wierd?? They shrunk after Noah was born! Crazy...I am a 9 now instead of a 10.

Anonymous said...

My mother has a Pug - I refuse to aknowlige it as being part of the K9 species. I made her cry the first weekend I met the little flat faced rat. oops - I got scolded by my father - again the guilt was overwhelming.

Anonymous said...

Funny thing - I use to be six five but now I am 5-9 bald and a hundred pounds overweight. You still got elevens and you know it.

alcor said...

I know. I am not mean, I just ignore it--and it won't leave me alone. Meanwhile my sweet lady who is buried in the back yard (I still feel guilty about now petting her the last time I saw her I can still bawl about it) NEVER at food out of a can, had regular vet visits, or was allowed on the couch. Nasty Havanese.

alcor said...

Oh shut up--I never had elevens! I am 5'11" with a mustache. That much I acknowledge.

Anonymous said...

You really should get him a dog, that way he wouldn't have to be alone when you lock him in the closet all day.

I am sure you don't lock your children in the closet (maybe just when you out howling at your man moon) but if you did, like every good mother you would probably feel great guilt for the rest of your life.

Case and Point: My mother still to this day remembers a wintery December afternoon school snowday where I was running around trashing the house, throwing my toys all over cause I couldn't go outside. She was completely frazzled (I am making excused for my attacker) and apparently she grabbed my and shook me (this has also been the source of many "that's why I am a little retarded" jokes - she feels really bad) for like one second and I don't really remember so it must of been revolting brutality. She still asks me for forgiveness and feels bad. That was like 26 years ago.

Don't lock your kids in the closet - unless of course they are bugging you enough you can't enjoy a good cup of coffee, then I am sure it's OK for just an hour or two...

Anonymous said...

What!!!!!!!!
She was the most loyal thing ever, saw your car pull up and was like "here comes my master Alyssa, my life and day are complete" "oh you passed my by, that is ok I still love you, I'm fine, I still love you" and then she died. I am sure you were at least there to comfort her while she was passing, you can be proud of that.

You knew I couldn't leave that alone.

alcor said...

LOL! Your poor sweet mom. I am sure you were impossible back then too.

My kids have time out in the bathroom on the stool. Noah hardly ever has them anymore (proof that it works) Brynne has them for four minutes (she's four). I am too lazy to bring them upstairs to their bedroom and right or wrong, I just can't spank them.

When I need to escape into my coffee I turn on PBS. Again, right or wrong, it works like a charm. We don't have cable. TV is the devil--except for when I need a good movie or a PBS escape route to coffee.

Anonymous said...

Peace out skis!!

alcor said...

It will be hitting your momentarily.

alcor said...

I remember playing pool with your dad at CC. He was great.

I am sorry about the paint. COMpletely narrowminded...done apologizing.

alcor said...

It is a tear jerker...so is "how's it gonna be"

oh so vintage.

Anonymous said...

So you just sat around last night listening to TEB songs or what - actually doesn't sound like such a bad night.

We had a visit from our bear last night, it was awesome, he/she is huge. I have been somewhat purposefully dumping stinky meat and stuff in the dumpster to try to lure him/her in.

At like two in the morning (I fall asleep fast and hard but I will wake at the sound of a pin drop) I heard the lid to the dumpster open, scout and I were at our posts but then scout opened his big mouth and the bear ran up the hill to the neighbors.(didn't get a good view) But then he/she came back at three, again to our posts, scout proceeded to open his mouth and almost jump out the window this time. The bear auntered down the driveway, huge I tell ya - it was really cool.

I have a lot of questions to answer - I'll start working on that..

Don't worry about the paint - it was a bit ridiculous to compare messing with one of my chunky tables to the art likes of an Alyssa and Van Gogh anyway.

Anonymous said...

Did you toss in a little goo goo dolls and nirvana as well - I love nirvana - A few years back I picked up Kurt's biography - it was incredible, talk about reaching out to the voices but the guy was so insecure and hurting. It was actually an incredible read.
I loved it because even in his death and a book about his death he (a stupid skinny kid) was still kicking dirt in the faces of the modern day perfection-aries, critics and know-it-alls. Plus the guy use to write song lyrics out on his apartment walls with his own fecal matter – I mean come on if that’s not art just shoot me now.

Anonymous said...

Are you a Pandora.com user?? It is awesome

alcor said...

Actually someone just told me about Pandora.com this week (Christi). Sounds like a great way to control the internal environment. I use the ipod, but having "approved" playlists for the shop is a good idea. That way I can rest assured that Brian Adams and Paula Abdule are NEVER again heard in these walls. Meagan had them playing on her ipod and I almost died.

Awesome about the bear! Take a picture next time and veer.

Don't try to excuse the paint--it was low and completely underminingly unaffirming. I am scum.

However, the sunrise is a chic. I am not waivering.

Kurt is one of the coolest dead guys ever...so is Modigliani. He is hot and dead. Have you seen the new Batman? Christian Bale does not disappoint. The Joker was just disturbing. In a good/bad way.

lata-(and get on it would ya)

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